For those chemistry fans still out there who've wondered whither Reynard has disappeared to of late, I'd originally intended to post this piece around Father's Day but didn't get around to it - if that is any consolation.
Fatherhood - what a strange and glorious thing! My little foxcub is now six months old and has adeptly assumed her rightful place as the apple of her Daddy's eye and has got me thinking more deeply about fatherhood as a concept. For a start, I realised quite quickly how much my own Dad loved me as a child, the difficulties he faced and what a good job he did. I mean, I've always known Dad loved me but now I really really know, because I know firsthand now what it means to be a dad. Anyone reading this who has borne the blessed cross of fatherhood will hopefully be able to resonate with this point.
Secondly I've noticed how fulfilled I feel now; it's a deep awareness that I've ticked an innate box essential to my experience of life as a man. Don't get me wrong, I don't particularly enjoy being a dad, and I have less spare time, spare money etc etc. I don't really get any warm fuzzy sensations or instincts when I look at my offspring either, not like a mother would. I often whinge about having chosen the wrong path, having made "miscalculations" with my life and about being unsuited to the stress and bald materialism of family life. This being said, I have been happy to assume the duties of fatherhood and feel enriched as a result - all this in spite of myself; which I suppose is the whole point of it. Traditional gender roles, duties and responsibilities force us to step outside the limits of our egos in an act of self-surrender, and we emerge happier as a result.
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